Sexual Misconduct / Title IX

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is often most associated with physical abuse in a relationship. However, domestic violence also includes sexual, emotional, economic and psychological violence. Initially, identifying the signs of an abusive relationship can be difficult, especially if the abuser uses subtle tactics to gain power and control.

However, understanding common occurrences or patterns of an unhealthy relationship and becoming informed of the types of domestic violence can help.

In fact, many abusive partners may seem absolutely perfect in the early stages of a relationship. Possessive and controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight, but rather emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating.

  • Prevents contact and communication with friends and family, abusers prefer to isolate their partners in order to exert more power and control over them

  • Causes embarrassment with bad names and put-downs. Often times, put downs can be disguised as jokes and when their partner addresses being embarrassed by the jokes/comments, the abuser disregards their partners feelings calling them “overly sensitive”

  • Critical about survivors appearance and/or behavior

  • Attempts to control what partner wears (makeup, hair and clothes)

  • Controls money in the household (where money is spent, taking victims money, or refusing to give victim money for their own expenses)

  • Abusers often control important identification, such as driver’s licenses, social security cards, birth certificates and passports

  • Extremely jealous and possessive, expects victim to ask for permission for any activity

  • Stalking or Monitoring victims everyday moves, through phone or GPS tracking system

  • Has unrealistic expectations, the abuser expect their partner to be available at all times

  • Prevents/Discourages partner from working or going to school, in order to gain more control

  • Acts like abuse is not a big deal, or denies it’s happening

  • Plays mind games to place blame on the survivor

  • Destroys victims property to intimidate or gain control

  • Threatens to kill family members or pets

  • Threatens to take away or hurt the children

  • Threatens to commit suicide in order to gain control over their victim

  • Intimidates with guns, knives or other weapons

  • Shoves, slaps, chokes, hits

  • Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control

  • Forces sexual acts on victim, including pressuring partner to have sex with others

  • Forces or pressures victim to use alcohol and/or drugs

  • Promises to change abusive behavior but the cycle keeps repeating itself

  • Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors)

  • Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked, or choked you.

  • Abandoned you in a dangerous or familiar place.

  • Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.

  • Forced you to leave your home or kept you from leaving.

  • Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.

  • Hurt your children, family members or pets

If there is something about your relationship that scares you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Someone is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to listen and provide information to help you get safe.

You can also visit http://www.thehotline.org/ for additional information regarding domestic violence and abuse

  • Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs—avoid rooms with no exits (like the bathroom), or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen).

  • If possible keep cash/car keys within reach just in case you have to leave the home

  • Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.

  • Memorize all important numbers.

  • Establish a “code word or sign” so that family, friends, teachers, or co-workers know when to call for help.

  • Think about what you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent.

  • Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.

  • For more information on how to create a Safety Plan CLICK HERE